hai this is my blawg... i'll treat this like a personal diary! i'll write it in when special things happen, but i'll probably also talk about uncomfortable topics (which will be tagged appropriately) my old blog was used to dump about my ocs, and i will Keep doing that! but i intend for my "about ocs" page to be mainly basic info. it would be confusing to just read loose rants.. SO! i'll link a at both locations where you can look at my insanity
ANYWAY!!! i haven't been sleeping well because i've been having a lot of dreams recently (also cuz im sleeping at midnight and waking up at 6 in the morning and also going through 9 hours of school) and i think these dreams like... represent my current worries in the most comical way possible LMAO
an example...... last night, i dreamt i brought a 3 feet long swedish fish (a candy) to my biology class. i thought it would be cool to bring a gigantic candy fish to my school so we could dissect it (like a real organism) (it was not. it was a giant hunk of sugar and starch). UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, the dissection didn't happen. because i was shamecircled by my entire class and my teacher started eating my fish. i would like to bring to mind the painting of saturn eating his kids
i started seriously crying and i woke up. i couldn't tell if i was crying over my fish or myself.....
another example...... (and i believe i've had this dream before) i dreamt that i was taking an ap exam. the multiple choice section was absolute BULL!! it consisted of questions like "are you constipated?" "if a sheep's pen floods, what is the most morally correct thing to do?" it was SO BAD that the exam lasted FIVE HOURS and no one finished. i was so stressed about passing that i woke up
USUALLY, those kinds of dreams happen when i get super stressed or when it's right before school starts. but since it already started, i can only assume there is impending doom for me.... or i'm not eating right
this will probably disappear very soon. and!!! hopefully by next week, there will be something interesting in my life. and this time it won't just be a dream!!!
for this entry, i finally decided to add pictures. extremely boring ones! this week i took a picture of a banana that got cooked by the sun on only one side. i will also add another picture of matching theme: a tree that has moss on only one side.
it feels weird to be a sophomore already. people talk about the time in high school being the best years of your life and how "the time will fly by!!!" i don't believe high school should be your peak????? (why do people say that) but the time passing thing... ermm
it's not really anything Special to be in your second year of high school. it would probably feel more impactful if i said all that stuff as a graduating senior. but… as a child, i imagined that i would just die before i was 13. that sounds super depressing, but it's true!! then i wouldn't have to deal with taxes and whatev
i think getting older is really scary. like… i was 10 five minutes ago! it's so weird!! i thought i could remember the names of all my elementary school classmates forever but i can't even remember their faces. it’s wack!! my sister is in COLLEGE my FRIENDS ARE GRADUATING SOON like THATS CRAZY???
but... that's whatev. i have ap classes to worry about now LMAO
ANYWAY INTROSPECTION OVER!! fun part. let's go over some recent stuff!
NUMBER ONE: i've been having weird sleep problems. on the night before the first day of school, i stayed up until 1 am. i was rotating in my bed like a pig on a spit. i attributed this to my terrible junk diet and this is a warning to eat properly or the hypoglycemia will get you
NUMBER TWO!!! a backstory! last school year, my friend brought a stuffed baby yoda to school. other kids tossed him onto a wall light like 30 feet up and we couldn't retrieve him. he suffered through many storms. rain, hail, wind, dust... and he never moved... until today, because he disappeared!!!! i thought baby yoda would survive until senior year and i would write some bad essay about him. but it's probably for the better. i imagine baby yoda became very moldy and disgusting. i feel this is very symbolic but i can't put my finger on it
NUMBER THREE!! uhhhh my schedule is FULL OF CLASSES where i have to actually pay attention. also! none of my teachers seem like very interesting people. i can't just hang around and fly through work!!! so, i've given myself many pep talks today. sophomore slump is scared of Me
anyway... sum: i foresee a very interesting year ahead of me. 8/10 day
...actually, i pass through LA all the time. honestly, i just didn't want to spend my summer inside when everyone i know is going on fancy vacations. like, "you're going to FLORIDA??? JAPAN?? MEXICO??" personally, i'd just be happy to go somewhere memorable!!! it's no good to waste your summer!! so i went to... (drumroll) griffith park observatory???
it's apparently super popular!!! there's astronomy exhibits, telescopes, a planetarium.. and if it's dark enough you can see the stars!! i wasn't lucky enough to be there at night, but the observatory rests on a mountain where you could see all of los angeles?!?? a good substitute for stars methinks
embarrassing fact: part of the reason i visited is because griffith park is fairly significant in bojack horseman... i actually had to force myself to Not Think About It. it's a little embarrassing to be so obsessed over a show, but whatever! i nerd out. i live the baka life.
summary: i pretty much ruled the entirety of los angeles for an hour
i also snatched a rock from the mountain. now i have a collection of an extremely impressive size!! and it consists of two rocks: one from washington dc and one from los angeles.
ALSO!!! on the way home, i stopped by this place that sold anime merch and apparel ... i was scared the owners would judge me for lingering and not buying anything. i ended up making an anxiety-induced 36 dollar purchase on a rilakkuma plush. don't know if that was worth it... but now i have two things to remember this trip by!! ROCK and RILAKKUMA!!
so, i would rate this day a 9/10. very good. SATISFACTORY even!!
embarrassing fact: i don't know how to swim! but today i went sort-of-swimming for the first time. it was kind of fun! my friends were talking about it for a while cuz summer vacation plans kept getting in the way... but i'm glad we made time. i'd never went to a pool or anything of the sort, so i had to buy a swimsuit for the first time. it was kind of uncomfortable! actually VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!! i had to think about like... my body and my gender and stuff. but that's too much for a first post...
isn't it weird how guys can go with just swimming trunks and a shirt to the pool? i wanted to wear something like that too, but it was all just bikinis and stuff... it's dumb! OFF TOPIC! I'M TALKING ABOUT HOW I WENT TO THE POOL! WITH MY FRIENDS!
one of the first things my friend told me was to learn how to float. she said it like this: just spread your body out on the surface of the water... and become one with the water??? i tried it but couldn't manage it, because my head would always sink under or i'd start positing myself upright....but i read that if you fill your lungs with water, you'll become more buoyant. maybe i should do that next time? but i just couldn't float... so i awkwardly walked around the pool. it's really hard to move in water because of water resistance. i was thinking about i could never be a competitive swimmer
other than that, it was really fun... we played a bunch of pool games. i pet my friends cat (which was the first time i ever touched a cat LMAO)
OH EMBARRASSING MOMENT so we went to a nearby gas station after, and when i tried to pay for my popsicle i swiped the card wrong... several times. the guy must've thought i was dumb (which i am) and just tapped the card for me. i just really hope he was doing that out of kindness and not disappointment...
i'm also glad i didn't forget my PIN too lmao
ANYWAY! i give this day... a 10/10! good hangout and good learning experience